Have you grown disenchanted with your sleep schedule and you crave a severe lack of sleep? Is getting a good night’s rest beginning to grow old for you?
If you answered yes to both and care very a little about your REM cycles, then hop on over to Tonopah, Nevada, because The Clown Motel is ready to invade your cognitive gears and further disrupt that comfy part of your brain that digs a good doze.
Have you craved a more head-on experience with the disturbing feelings left by last summer’s hit killer-clown movie, It? Does the hazy vision of an illuminated juggling clown, beckoning you to the hotel guaranteeing “clean rooms” (a seemingly minor endorsement) and “single beds for 39.50”? Again if you answered yes to both questions, then you have to get your twisted buns over to Nevada’s premiere The Clown Motel!
The lobby of The Clown Motel, is strewn with giggling, face-painted circus demons, including a life-sized clown sitting in a chair, cradling a number of smaller clown dolls in its lap, like something out of an 80’s horror movie (mostly thinking of that doll in Poltergeist).
Beyond the comparisons to something like, I don’t know, Killer Klowns From Outer Space (look it up, if you can) ever room is…clown-themed!
All the doors come with clowns adorning them, while the rooms’ walls are littered with portraits of famous clowns, such as Bozo and, I guess other famous clowns?
In the words of George Costanza, there is no clown more famous than Bozo, so I don’t know where they’re sourcing these other historically-relevant clowns from.
Is all this not creepy enough for you? Do you need a second shot of abject bizarreness and terror on relatively subtle level? According to residents in neighboring cities, Tonopah is widely considered to be a “ghost town”.
Are you ready to ramp the creepiness-level up to a whopping 11? Then prepare for this fact-drop: there is a cemetery dating back to 1901, right out behind the Clown Motel. Oh, you read that right: a cemetery dating back to the turn of the century.
What was going on around that time?
Well, even though Tonopah currently holds a meager population of close to 2,000, it used be around 10,000 and was a major mining-town back in the day, providing home to thousands of prospectors, miners, and frontier explorers; it was the second-largest discovery of silver in the history of the state of Nevada.
Is this recalling enough episodes of Scooby-Doo or comparisons to movies like House II or My Bloody Valentine?
How about The Fog, the classic John Carpenter movie where the ghosts of vengeful ghosts from the early 1900’s sought revenge on the town’s current population? Well don’t worry if your lodging generally consist very little of the idea of roaming ghosts out back, this motel has you covered.
Literally, it is the backyard to the motel.
Instead of a view of rolling hills and lush countryside, you get a dusty old cemetery full of dead prospectors, in case you need to get away from the looming creepiness of the Clown Motel for a bit.
They also provide “free Wi-Fi & mini breakfast”.