If you were to think of a wild animal that you would want to go partying with, my first choice would be Bojack Horseman. Since he’s a fictional character, I guess my next choice would be the Mary River turtle which I’m guessing you’ve literally never heard of. I’m pretty disappointed I’ve never heard of them, because they are pretty dang awesome looking.
Sadly, these Mary River turtles have been on the endangered species list aka the IUCN Red List since the 90’s.
Now you might be asking, what makes these animals so dang cool? Well yes their green algae like hair helps but they have another hidden talent.
This green-haired turtle breathes through its genitals. It’s called the Mary River turtle (Elusor macrurus) and it’s one of the world's most endangered turtle species. 😢 pic.twitter.com/rASKSXNXHj
— Nameless Network (@namelesstv) April 12, 2018
These turtles can stay under water for three days in a row thanks to an..interesting feature of the turtle. They have glands that are the Mary River turtle’s butt and genitals. Sadly, they have gotten the not so pretty nickname of “butt breather” and kids on the playground are really mean to them I guess.
People online are really loving them now they know about them.
Please someone create matchmaking services for these creatures. Just LOOK AT THEM.
Green-haired turtle that breathes through its genitals added to endangered list.https://t.co/0aXCskk0H5
— Samantha Lui (@samanthalui_) April 11, 2018
You can find these turtles in the, you guessed it (if you know about Australian geography), Mary River in Queensland, Australia. The species decline is due to building of a dam nearby as well as people poaching the turtle’s eggs for pets. Despicable!
Another reason why the turtle’s population is in decline is because the creatures wait so long to reproduce. They don’t reach sexual maturity till they are 25 years old, and many males wait till they are 30 to actual do the deed.
(This isn’t them but seemed relevant)
With the combo of damn dams being built and the mature decision to wait till marriage is why they have been placed into the Zoological Society of London’s new list of the world’s most vulnerable reptiles. They are clocking in at the 29th spot. Does that mean we have 28 other animals we need to save too?
Safe to say Twitter users freaked out when they found such an awesome looking animal on the list…
Sometimes, you come across an image so naturally badass you have to share it.
This is the Mary River Turtle. It breathes through its genitalia, and is endangered.
(📷 Chris Van Wyk/@OfficialZSL) pic.twitter.com/gu2TE06rG8
— Muhammad Lila (@MuhammadLila) April 12, 2018
Punks not dead… It's endangered (Pictured: Mary River turtle) pic.twitter.com/U8yYKlksJC
— Merrick, a sandwich. (@Palmettobling) April 11, 2018
Algae mohawk? ✅
Fleshy goatee-like growths under its chin? ✅
Ability to breathe through its genitals? ✅
Is punk dead? 🤘
Maybe not, but this 'punk turtle' might soon be 😢 Despite its singular looks, the Mary river turtle is facing extinction. pic.twitter.com/f1FTnEQKcv
— DW News (@dwnews) April 13, 2018
mary river turtle (newly endangered 😢) is the grooviest turtle ive seen pic.twitter.com/P8RWrahyeg
— china (@_cpals) April 12, 2018
I’m just wondering how long it takes for a punk band to be named after the Mary River Turtle. I’d go rage to them for sure.
Dr. James Liu, who is the director of communications for the Turtle Conservancy told The Dodo:
“The most important thing that we like to convey to the public is that people need to realize that turtles and tortoises are one of the most threatened groups of animals, especially vertebrates, on the planet — but no one’s talking about them.
While whales and ‘great apes’ get a lot of press, turtles and tortoises have been here 250 million years, and now over 50 percent of all species are threatened with extinction.”
I would have sworn that this was a creation of #StevenSpielberg
Not a real animal found in #Australia
The #MaryRiverTurtle pic.twitter.com/8lhcaF84eQ
— Christine Heston (@1legd_survivor) April 13, 2018
It’s a shame to lose these animals, and no one’s aware that it’s happening but it’s not too late to save these animals, and a lot can be done!
You can donate to the Australian Geographic Society here if you want punk, I mean the Mary River Turtle to never die!