James Breakwell has been going viral for longer than the normal 15 minutes of fame that most viral sensations get. No for the past few years he has been a hit on Twitter because he just posts conversations with his daughters. His FOUR daughters.
Breakwell has been at it since April 2016, and it seems that his million followers do it for one reason. The hilarity of it all. He once told Buzzfeed:
“My wife is grudgingly tolerant of my Twitter addiction. She was well-aware I was a jerk when she married me, so my tweets haven’t changed her opinion of me in the slightest.”
Take a look at some of our favorites and give him a follow here!
1.
5-year-old: I’m not scared of monsters when I'm with you.
Me: Well, thanks.
5: They’ll eat you first because you’re fatter.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2017
2.
5-year-old: *slides a curly fry on her finger like a ring*
Me: Are you married?
5: I'm Frodo.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) December 10, 2017
3.
I played Dungeons and Dragons with my daughters.
They were supposed to fight the wolves surrounding a town.
Instead, they fed the wolves and turned them into their friendly wolf army.
Girls, man. They’ll take over the world.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) January 7, 2018
4.
I'm glad we own 10,000 stuffed animals so my toddler can fall asleep cuddling with a jar of peanuts. pic.twitter.com/mIJKNg2DEp
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2017
5.
5-year-old: Why can't dogs go to school?
Me: Dogs are animals.
5: They let in boys.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2018
6.
5-year-old: I’m tired.
Me: Maybe you should go to bed earlier.
5: Maybe it shouldn’t be morning yet.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) July 31, 2017
7.
Me: Did you have a good day at school?
6-year-old: That's not how school works.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) May 8, 2017
8.
7-year-old: All the boys said they were faster than girls in gym class.
Me: What did you say?
7: Nothing. I just beat them.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) September 22, 2017
9.
Me: Do you know what sarcasm is?
7-year-old: No. I live under a rock.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) October 8, 2017
10.
Me: What did you do at school today?
5-year-old: Learned about dragons.
Me: Your class learned about dragons?
5: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2018
11.
Me: What are you doing?
7-year-old: Counting the presents under the tree.
Me: There aren't any presents under the tree.
7: I know.
Passive aggressive level 9000.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) November 28, 2017
12.
6-year-old: *fast forwards all the way through a movie*
Me: You can’t just skip to the happy ending.
6: I don't have time for problems.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2017
13.
4-year-old: Can I have some of your candy?
Wife: I got this for Mother's Day.
4: You're only a mom because of me.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2017
14.
My 1-year-old can't say pumpkin, so she calls her pumpkin her "Putin."
Anyway, Putin just got eaten by squirrels.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) November 2, 2017
15.
7-year-old: Do you have a podcast?
Me: Do you even know what a podcast is?
7: It's that thing where you talk to yourself and no one listens.
She knows exactly what a podcast is.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) November 21, 2017
16.
Me: Only female mosquitos bite.
7-year-old: I knew that.
Me: You did?
7: Girls always do all the work.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) July 2, 2017
17.
5-year-old: I want to drive a train.
Me: Good plan.
5: A party train.
Me: An even better plan.
5: With kittens.
Me: Take my money now.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) October 24, 2017