Did you know that Americans eat 350 slices of pizza per second? Yeah that’s a lot of pizza and it makes sense why pizza is such a phenomenon in the United States. It’s reached official meme status but if you don’t like pineapple on pizza, don’t talk to me.
Anyways a “Top US Pizza Chain” employee went on a rant on Imgur of all places and she’s ready to spill the beans on what we are all missing out on. It didn’t take long for anyone to understand which chain she works for, since the title of her post is “Hut…Hut…Hut.”
She posted this image and then began her rant:
1) Be nice to the person taking your order; we are people too.
2) Always ask what is on special. We usually have three deals per location that are about the same. Those are the only ones we’re allowed to give you when you ask BUT they are good deals so you may find what you want.
3) Check online before calling. Online deals you’ll find things like a Large Pizza with 2 toppings for $7.99 or 2 Medium 2 Topping Pizzas for $5.99/each. We will lose our job if we voluntarily offer those deals to you but if you ask for them, THEN we can do it for you. You have to specifically ask for the “Large $7.99” deal or the “2 Medium $5.99” deal.
4) We are required to ask “would you like extra cheese?” – watch out, that extra cheese adds $2 per pizza and adds up quick. If you listen to your order taker they may be trying to help you. I always say “would you like to add extra cheese for an additional charge?” to help clue people in.
5) Also, on the extra cheese… it will never count as a topping option. If you are getting a two topping pizza and ask for pepperoni and extra cheese, you’ll be paying that extra two dollars. It is ALWAYS an additional charge. ALWAYS.
6) Different crust types have different cost. The price you see advertised is ONLY for a hand-tossed or a thin-and-crispy crust. Stuffed crust will always cost you $2 more and Pan is an additional $1.
7) Specialty pizza’s are expensive; some are worth it and some aren’t. Don’t order Pepperoni Lovers, it’s double pepperoni and that’s only two toppings. If you ask for a “Hawaiian” pizza, you’re going to get the specialty that cost more – instead do a two topping with ham and pineapple.
8) Everything costs money, nothing is free – except for extra sauce ON the pizza and the plates, those are free. You know those packs of Parmesan Cheese and Red Peppers you asked us to throw in? Yeah, those cost you.
9) You can fully customize your pizzas. Let’s say you take one of the basic specials, something like “2 Large 3 Topping Pizzas with Breadsticks” but you really want that BBQ chicken specialty pizza… do NOT upgrade to the specialty price, just build it. Ask for the BBQ sauce instead of the Marinara, get Chicken, Bacon, and Onion as your toppings and ask for the Toasted Cheddar crust finisher. There is NO additional charge and it’s the SAME DAMN PIZZA.
I hope that helps you in your pizza ordering habits. Honestly if you needed another reason that Pizza Hut isn’t awesome, here you go…
Sounds like this needs to be playing at the Museum of Pizza, am I right?