On behalf of the entire race of humans that identify as male, I’m sorry. What I’m about to tell you about must happen way too much if this is any indication of how creepy dudes think. You wonder why women are always questioning where all the good dudes are since the terrible ones are just sliding in DMs constantly.
We find ourselves with Reddit user Th3GreenMan56 who got a very interesting text. It all started off with a simple, unassuming, “Hi.”
That was probably the most normal text that Th3GreenMan56 was going to get from this wrong number text. If he knew what was going to proceed that “Hi” he would have never responded.
Here’s what happened next…
Come on people of 2018, if you text with asterisks you just need to go to “How to talk to people” school. If this was a normal person they would have said something to the effect of, “Hi this is Brandon, I think you’re cool.” Anything would have been better than textually clearing your throat!
Even when Brandon was confronted with the fact of this number not belonging to whatever girl he wanted to *tip his fedora to* he kept going…
At this point, Th3GreenMan56 had to be itching to use this gif…
If there really is an infinite amount of universes in the cosmos, I don’t think there is one where the line, “hand itching to unzip pants” would work on a female human. Prove me wrong science!
Anyways, Th3GreenMan56 pleaded to Brandon one last time that he was indeed a man and that he literally had a mustache. This detail did not matter…
At this point I would have blocked the number but he returned a photo back with the text, “Oh you poor, poor man.” It seemed Brandon was still in denial.
Th3GreenMan56 should have asked for Shannon’s number to tell her the fake number she gave to Brandon was indeed his. It’s safe to say Reddit had some follow up questions. The first was:
A. Where do I find this Shannon
B. Is she still giving your number away
He replied to that saying:
“My numbers really easy to make up lol so it’s actually pretty common for me to get the wrong number.”
Another obvious Redditor question was a bit more NSFW, “Was it at least a decent dick?”
Th3GreenMan56 replied with a very honest answer, “Ya know, I’m not gay, but it wasn’t half bad.”
Others wanted to give some advice to Brandon saying, “Hope you told him that he’ll never get a girl like that lol.”
Hopefully other creepy dudes will see this and understand that texting with asterisks doesn’t work. Oh and maybe sending a d*ck pic to a stranger on the the fifth text doesn’t work. Oh and lastly when the “girl” says she’s actually a dude maybe just stop.