It’s that time of year again, where we celebrate dads of all sorts. Whether you’ve been around the block, or are holding an infant for the first time this year, you’ll nod your head and say, “Same” at a lot of these Tweets.
If these aren’t enough for you on this Father’s Day weekend, then take a look at this dad that Tweets about his little girls. You’ll be laughing out loud for days.
Funny how bossy my toddler is for somebody who just hurt herself eating an animal cracker.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 8, 2017
I teach my kids to make close friends, but not so close that they get invited to birthday parties that require me to buy presents.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) June 15, 2017
Parenting tip: Learn to breakdance so when you meet your teenager's new friends, you have a cool talent to show them.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 17, 2017
Every parent thinks their kid is genius and more advanced than the average kid. Until you watch your kid get lost in a towel. #dadlife
— Jeff Ferguson (@jferguson26) July 6, 2017
My sons consider "it's bedtime" my first offer in the negotiation process
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 11, 2013
— Christopher (@teesang) July 7, 2017
You know you're a dad, not when you start wearing cargo shorts, it's when you wind up with every single pocket in them loaded with junk.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) June 16, 2017
Gave my 6yr old son a mint Tic-Tac & told him it was a mouse egg.
He's now in his room waiting for it to hatch.
Love being a dad
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 22, 2017
Being a parent is basically walking around your housing playing the game "Is that chocolate, poop, or dirt?" And never winning. #parenthood
— Kirktacular6 (@AndrewKirk6) July 12, 2017
"I don't trust these trees, son…"
"They seem pretty shady."#DadJokes
— Jack Morrison (@StayFrosty76) July 12, 2017
Had a nightmare that someone left the bathroom light on and I couldn't move to turn it off. I think I hit some weird level of Dad.
— Rock🇺🇸 (@TheMichaelRock) June 12, 2017
I've done a lot of negotiations in my career, but none harder than convincing my son the red cup is just as good as the orange one #DadLife
— Joe Martin (@joeDmarti) May 13, 2017
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
— James Kurtis (@OnAirGuy) July 15, 2017
Being a dad on hols is 50% buying ice cream, 50% putting on suncream, 50% checking the kids haven't drowned & 20% realising you can't count.
— Steven (@steve_d24) July 14, 2017
Friend: Dude, you have a piece of glitter on your face.
Me: Oh, sorry my son brought a project home from school w/glitter on it 3 years ago.
— keith (@tchrquotes) May 6, 2015
Just missed eldest daughter's last competitive dance in her last year. Because our 4 yr old needed to poop. Timing is everything. #dadlife
— Derek Featherstone (@feather) July 8, 2017
Hi!!! My name is Dad and I'll be your host for today's round of WHERE IS THE USED BANDAID!!!*
*spoiler alert: IT'S IN THE BED!!!
— TheUnspiration (@The_Unspiration) June 14, 2017
That awkward moment when a toddler lies and you're not sure if it's because they don't understand or because they're pure evil.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 3 days (@XplodingUnicorn) July 10, 2017
— Ken (Not an actual Captain) (@cptbananas) July 6, 2017
— Justin Stadtmuller (@StadtmullerJ) May 15, 2017
One of the main parts of being a husband / dad is apologizing for how you blow your nose.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 5, 2017
You know you’re a dad when you know that it’s Donald Duck’s birthday on Friday the 9th of June..
— Evans Gichomo (@eGichomo) May 31, 2017
My three year old tried to help me sleep in this morning by waking me up so he could put all the blankets in the house on me.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) June 17, 2017