Working out in the real world is too much sometimes. That’s why the comfort of my own sweats is where I like to work these days, away from all the crazy bosses out there. One time I had a boss come in at 9 AM drunk as a skunk but that story honestly has no traction when it comes to the crazier stories from Twitter.
Twitter user @ChrisCaesar asked his followers to tell about their most insane boss story and they didn’t disappoint.
what's your most insane boss story? extra points for shit that seems unbelievable but Actually Happened
— God Friended Me (on 'The Chive' Dot Com) (@ChrisCaesar) July 10, 2018
From a boss throwing a sewing machine to hands down pants to giving away diamonds, these stories I mean bosses are not to be messed with. Let’s take a look at some of the craziest of the stories, shall we?
19.
Affable co-worker blew up a paper bag, popped it behind boss' head as a prank. Boss stalked off to locker, returned with gun, pressed it to co-worker's head, said, "You like noise, huh? You like noise?" and pulled the trigger. It wasn't loaded, but nobody knew that beforehand.
— Dan Wasserman (@waskov6) July 10, 2018
There's more! This was at night, so several staff members went to the boss' boss the next day to report what had happened. Response: "W. has been here a long time and is a valued employee of the company." Newspapers, eh?
— Dan Wasserman (@waskov6) July 10, 2018
18.
worked at ritzy corner store in south end, became shift manager. boss fired totally capable cashier because she was resting her arm on the counter. told me it was my fault she lost her job because i hadn't "corrected her." i know that's more run-of-the mill but still makes me mad
— tinker, tailor, soldier, spy kids 2 (@Pon_Jalmer) July 10, 2018
17.
my boss got some Cavs shirts and wanted people to wear them to the staff meeting last month. When the shirt wouldn't fit one of the larger women, he used binder clips to attach it to the front of her shirt and made her run around the office like that
— katie (@kbcle) July 10, 2018
16.
i had a boss who had a penchant for putting his finger in my ear
— sal (@duttypotus) July 10, 2018
15.
Walked into my cafe’s storage closet to find my boss with his hand down the front of his pants, moving it around. He frantically explained he was applying an ointment, which he then proffered so I could verify said dick ointment.
— tom petty’s ghoulish remains (@dogeatfoodworld) July 10, 2018
14.
I had a boss who made all the women wear those skin-tight zip-up racing track suits for Grand Prix weekend. Our one old-timer was this 60 year old woman who couldn’t fit, boss made her wear it half-zipped, pretty sure backwards too so there wasn’t front spillage
— Lana (@outlawlana) July 11, 2018
13.
Bossman was divorcing and got a chin implant. His face started leaking, so he wrapped a scarf around his bottom part of his face during a meeting. Kept getting mad when we couldn't understand what he was saying as he spoke through clenched teeth and fabric.
— Jennifer (@jennifer_2040) July 10, 2018
12.
I worked as an account executive for a Diamond wholesaler. The owner/my boss was a cocaine addict. He got high and gave a $21,000 diamond to an escort. Her madam agreed to give it back, but I had to drop off a 1,500 dollar check for her “courtesy”
— Todd Wife-Getter (@mattytalks) July 10, 2018
11.
While waitressing the chef/owner told me my boyfriend had to be cheating on me because who would be in a long-distance relationship at 19 and also made me call him "daddy" to get the food for my tables but in the restaurant world that's pretty tame, unfortunately
— Kristin Toussaint (@kristindakota) July 10, 2018
10.
I had a retail boss when I was in college that wrote me really terrible poetry and had me come over to his house for my review and read me all of them. I won my lawsuit.
— Lara (@Lara_Miller) July 10, 2018
9.
It’s not super crazy, but I worked at a dog daycare and my boss was terrified of dogs. He repeatedly warned me that one of the sweetest dogs in the yard, that I worked with every day, was a “jumper”
— Charlie Kirk Cameron Diaz (@thegoatmajestic) July 10, 2018
8.
My boss used to make me hold up her ranch dip for her nuggets while she drove. 😂
— Jen Karmel Apple Season 🍎🍁 (@jenilane29) July 10, 2018
7.
I got a citation in my employee file at Red Robin because I told my boss that Bob Marley did not sing Red Red Wine.
— daberhasher (@daberhasher) July 10, 2018
6.
I had a boss throw an Industrial desktop sewing machine at me. That was the day I quit.
— Truckstop Herpetologist (@danthemancohan) July 10, 2018
I was working at a small sign fabrication and installation shop owned by an ex-IDF soldier in the suburbs of Philadelphia. We got into an argument about how long it was taking to train me, wether I should be paid at all for my work up til then & he flipped out on me.
— Truckstop Herpetologist (@danthemancohan) July 10, 2018
5.
At 18 I went to jail for a bit and when I got out I got told the local Arbys is cool about hiring convicts because the GM liked to help people get on track. Got the job. Surprise, the GM was stealing money from the safe at night for oxycontin and needed people to blame if caught.
— Juche Mane🍩 (@Susharto) July 10, 2018
4.
One time my boss ate all of the breading off of 3 pieces of leftover fried chicken I brought to work for lunch and then put the naked chicken back into the breakroom fridge like nothing happened.
— Ryan, perdido en TX (@RyanLostinTX) July 10, 2018
3.
A friend of mine had brain surgery around the same time that our boss got a boob job. Our boss tried to show she was empathizing with my friend’s pain after the surgery by talking to her about her boob job pain, and then opening her shirt to show her scars from the implants.
— Political Ad Fan (@WindingDot) July 10, 2018
2.
My old boss repeatedly told me I was a waste of space and time and would never amount to anything. 5 years later, I ran into them putting my shiny bestselling book in the #1 slot on the shelf… 😘
— Jack Monroe (@BootstrapCook) July 11, 2018
1.
One time a boss of mine threw a dreidel at a Jewish guy. Not even sure how it got in the office
— Ed Zitron (@edzitron) July 10, 2018