Remember when we thought Twitter was dying? I mean sure it kinda is, but if we didn’t have it in our lives where would we rant? We all know Facebook has too much of that and their short statuses just aren’t as cool as Twitter.
Anyways a screenshot of the Tweet will just show up on Facebook if it’s funny enough. That’s the case of all these tweets summing up what it likes to be a woman. After going through 100’s of Tweets to see which ones are funnier I can summarize one thing…
Woman want some damn functional pockets!
Why hasn’t that problem been tackled yet? I have no clue but some start up for pockets for women needs to happen asap! In the meantime enjoy these hilarious Tweets!
If you think “girls never go for nice guys,” consider the possibility that a.) they do, and b.) you’re not one.
— Myke Cole (@MykeCole) October 9, 2017
when ur having period cramps but u gotta play it cool pic.twitter.com/rhxA4RdvL6
— brittany (@jaureguisdesire) November 23, 2015
Dudes make fun of girls for duck face yet all their selfies look like the last known footage of them
— Kendra ⚔️ (@kendrawcandraw) April 13, 2016
girls clothing in school is more regulated than guns in America
— #FREEJAGGINOW #JUSTICEFORASIFA #JUSTICEFORGEETHA (@sunveervirk) March 1, 2018
There is a group of women getting on my flight and one has a shirt that says “just divorced” and the others have shirts that say “divorce support group” and they are all plastered. Those are the type of friends everyone needs in their life lmao
— Ashley (@a_pfeiffer13) January 6, 2018
my bf asked why International Women’s Day is on 3/8 so I said it’s cuz it looks like the top and front view of boobs and he 100% believed me pic.twitter.com/Vkg1RBu4y7
— erin chack (@ErinChack) March 8, 2018
🔘 pegnate?? Help!?
🔘 can u get pregante…?
🔘 will my get pragnan?
🔘 if a women has starch masks
— moon lady (@honeydekes) May 30, 2018
it’s so hot 😩 i wish i could put my titties in a ponytail
— 💌 (@y2kenthusiast) July 5, 2018
drunk girls at bars: ok, listen britney, it is britney right? ok listen britney. you. are a GODDESS. you're too good for any man. I love you and your cute top
drunk guys at bars: did you just fuckin breathe on me? fuckin breathe on me again bro gimme a reason to knock you out
— gracie hoos (@cottoncandaddy) April 30, 2018
I don't use social media or apps to date because I'm in my 30s and I prefer meeting men the old fashioned way: never.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) June 17, 2016
First ghostbusters, then Wonder Woman, then a girl alien? Whats next, female balloons? Woman sand? A girl alphabet? Women can't be balloons
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) July 16, 2017
MEN: we're gonna stop flirting at work and giving unasked-for hugs
MEN: wait, no, you don't understand, those were threats
— Living Marble (@living_marble) December 4, 2017
I dated a girl in college whose mom tried to talk her out of being gay by telling her she'd have to go through life w/out someone to open jars for her. At the time it was upsetting but in hindsight I kind of love that jar opening was the only use for men she could think of.
— Gabrielle Korn (@Gabrielle_Korn) April 9, 2018
How to approach women who wear headphones:
1) Get in the bin
2) Set the bin on fire
3) Roll the bin away from the woman
4) Towards the sea
— David Jackmanson (@djackmanson) August 29, 2016
Women’s magazines really convinced me that “going from day to night” was going to be a big part of my adult life, but so far it has not come up.
— Margaret Lyons (@margeincharge) May 17, 2018
dudes who are saying “it’s scary to hook up with women now, it’s like I don’t know what’s ok and what isn’t”
uhh.. why don’t you ask her? She’s literally right there
— Alexis Novak (@AlexisGirlNovak) January 14, 2018
MEN REPLYING TO WOMEN ONLINE pic.twitter.com/VgD4tVrVk5
— Anthony (@butterwolf) December 18, 2014
exec: So what do we think women want in fashion?
exec: Cold shoulder tops in pastels. Got it.
exec: Clothes with pre-made holes in delicate fabrics.
exec: Cut-outs in flabby areas. Good.
exec: Shapes that require new bras!
— Delilah S. Dawson @SDCC (@DelilahSDawson) June 20, 2018
here's my impression of a movie about a girl w/ bangs:
a nice boy flips thru a notebook he found:"you know, these drawings are really good"
— monica heisey (@monicaheisey) May 15, 2017
"I actually prefer a woman with a little meat on her bones," he says.
A podium is quickly constructed. The mayor is summoned. In the distance, a marching band practices. The award ceremony will commence soon.
— The Disaster Ballet (@disasterballet) April 27, 2018
a swedish guy in my japanese school: you know, sex is like pizza; even when it's bad, it's good
girls in my class (me included): *awkward silence*
an italian girl: you know, i don't even agree about the pizza part
— Alicia (@doctoranovia) May 28, 2018
we watched silence of the lambs last night and more than anything that film is really about how hard it is for a woman to find a good mentor
— rachel syme (@rachsyme) April 4, 2018
ALL MY NON-BRA-WEARING FRIENDS LOOK AWAY
(whispers) ok whoever's left, is there a technical term for when you have a Bra Incident and you end up with either smashboob or fourboob and you can't fix it right away
is the word i'm looking for calamatitty
— Premee (@premeesaurus) May 30, 2018
MALE REINDEER LOSE THEIR ANTLERS IN WINTER AND FEMALES DON'T THEREFORE SANTA'S SLEIGH IS ACTUALLY PULLED BY A TEAM OF STRONG, POWERFUL, UNDERRATED WOMEN!!!!! YOU GO, GIRLS!! I SEE YOU!!!
— Cat Reynolds (@catreynoldsnyc) December 11, 2017
today i saw a beautiful woman and said "wow… shes so pretty" and my coworker immediately was like, "dont feel like that natalie. you're pretty too" and i stared at him and said "im not jealous, flavio. im gay"
— Natalie Wee (@natweewriter) March 27, 2018
if you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side
— ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤGus (@pIayboigus) June 27, 2017
places where it's scary to be a woman: outside, inside, on the internet, in real life, driving, walking, on the bus, at work, at school, at
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) August 24, 2016
The book I’m reading just asked “why is the story of the boy who cried wolf told over and over in our society, and not the story of Cassandra, the woman who told the truth but was never believed?” pic.twitter.com/wGQS3YyVQI
— kerra (@kerra_henke) January 1, 2018
Twitter gets a bad rap but let me just say that 20 years ago women did not talk about the shared truth of underboob sweat, we internalized it as our own secret shame when we could have been weaponizing it against our enemies, long live Boob Sweat Twitter
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) July 3, 2018
My daughter started crying at the dentist office bc the dentist “is a boy” and the dentist said “sorry, there are no girl dentists at this office” & my daughter looked at me & said “why did we come here.”
— Alissa Nutting (@AlissaNutting) April 16, 2018
i wish girls who want boob jobs and girls who want boob reductions could just like. venmo each other some tity.
— harry styles' plaid flare gucci pants (@hellakyra) July 11, 2018
a woman had me double bag her tampons because the bag was see thru and her husband would be embarrassed..sweetie throw the whole husband out
— queen G (@ifthehoefits) August 21, 2017