We all know that one couple who posts about their love like it’s a weather update.
Be it a coffee date, a work visit, a grand gesture or a recent wedding selfie — it seems like social media has exasperated who we date, where we date and how we date.
And while I am sure most moms, dads, grandmas and the like cannot get enough of their kiddos current relationship outings, the rest of us can’t help but be tempted to click the ‘unfollow’ button to get a break from the screaming “WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND ARE DATING IN CASE YOU FORGOT, LOOK HOW HAPPY WE BOTH ARE” desperate-for-likes-type posts.
You know which ones I am talking about.
But according to a recent study, it could be that those couples who actually post the most about their current relationship — actually are the least happy together according to a sexologist and relationship expert.
So before you go yelling at your S.O. for not posting more pics of you on their social media, you may want to read on….
Dr. Nikki Goldstein says that those who are not confident or satisfied in their relationships are more likely to seek validation via sharing selfies on social media.
Speaking to the Daily Mail, she shares:
“In my job, I get to see what people post, but I also get to hear what goes on behind the scenes in those same relationships.”
“But as I look through my Facebook feed, everybody seems to tell me they’re so ecstatically happy.”
“Often it’s the people who post the most who are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media.”
“The likes and comments can be so validating that when someone is really struggling, that’s where they get their up from – not the person making the gesture, but what other people will say about it.”
Dr. Goldstein also says that the time invested in creating such posts as well as monitoring how people respond to them could possibly damage the relationship.
She shares: “You see people who will focus so much on taking a ‘relfie’ – a relationship selfie – and getting the right filter and hashtags that they’re missing the moment.”
“I think, why don’t you take a photo because it’s a nice memory and a moment you want to look back to?”
“Couples are taking these photos, straight away putting them online and then watching the likes and comments instead of being with their partners.”
While Dr. Goldstein also says posting ‘relfies’ is not a bad thing — like all things– moderation is key.
She shares: “Keep it fun and entertaining for people – not mushy and possessive.”
“Nobody wants to see post after post about how in love you are and how amazing this person is.”
“The questions to be asking yourself are: are we the same in the real world, away from our screens, and are we more concerned about how the relationship actually is, or are we more interested in how it looks online?”
So, maybe next time your fingers hover over the share button — put down your phone and go adventure with bae.
In the long run, I have a feeling you both will be thankful for it.
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