Home Interesting People Newlyweds today are going on separate honeymoons without their spouses

Newlyweds today are going on separate honeymoons without their spouses

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If you asked someone today what is trending — they would most likely say shimmery highlighter, everything from Trader Joes and that ridiculously catchy 7 rings song by Ariana Grande.

But would you believe it if they told you traveling alone for your honeymoon was also in the mix?

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The practice is becoming so common place that there are even nicknames, including “solomoons,” and “unimoons.”

I am not making this up, folks.

Irene O’Brien and Mel Maclaine were one such couple who had a blast on their honey moon — separately.

During the 2016 trip, the couple – who is based in Dublin – did not share a bed, a meal or officially consummate their marriage during their honeymoon.

The reason? Because stylist and writer, Ms.O’Brien, 37, took a separate honeymoon from her golf and corporate photographer, Mr. Maclaine, 40.

After the pair’s wedding — Mr.O’Brien celebrated in Canada while Mr. Maclaine and his friends flew to France.

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“Neither of us wanted to be where the other one was,” shared Irene O’Brien, with the Times. “We each came back to Dublin full of stories, buzzing of our trips and truly delighted to see each other again to share the memories: It was the perfect imperfect honeymoon.”

Online dating expert and sociologist for the popular dating app, Bumble, Jessica Carbino says this is all part of the constantly evolving idea of what marriage looks like.

“Frankly, the idea of separate honeymoons may signal the continued evolution of marriage,” she shared with the Times. “Given the recognition that for most couples today, marriage and partnership is considered all-consuming, with the partner needing to fulfill every role — physical, spiritual, emotional and sexual — perhaps separate vacations is a recognition among some couples that all expectations cannot be met by a single person.”



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That being said — not everyone is ready to accept that this may be a new reality when it comes to celebrating a marriage.

“Perhaps I’m old-fashioned, but I think it should be marked,” a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, Helen Fisher, shared with the Times.

The Kinsey Institute conducts research on relationships.

“You are at a new stage in your life when you marry, and you are missing out on triggering the three most valuable brain systems for a lasting relationship.”

In fact, when couples vacation together — something chemical happens in your brain.

All three brain systems including romantic love (this stimulates your dopamine system,) feelings of deep attachment (orgasm boosts your oxytocin levels which are linked with attachment,) and sex drive.

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And while it may be easy to decide that those who take unimoons are a little looney — a psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby believes it may not be as bad as you think.

Bobby is both the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching in Denver.

“While taking separate honeymoons may seem extreme, highly individuated couples may view their independence and separate experiences as a strength of their relationship,” Ms. Bobby shared. “Having your own life is, after all, a wonderful way to be an interesting, vibrant and genuinely satisfied person. All of which are qualities that will sustain a long-term relationship.”

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