A single dad since the age of 18 a Reddit user recently posted about his upcoming wedding — asking the world if it would be crazy to call off his wedding after his fiancé asked for his son not bring his boyfriend to the big day.
The fiancé request was due to her family disapproving of him being gay.
“My son was born when I was only 15 years old, and I’ve been a single dad since I was 18. It was hard living for a long time money-wise but I always tried to do best by my son. Today I own my own gym and my son is now 22 and going to college and works at my gym full-time. He came out to me when he was 14 years old and I’ve always been supportive of him and his identity.”
The father went on to describe his soon to be wife’s background and why exactly she has been on the fence about the situation.
“I’ve been with my fiancé now for about 2 years and while she does come from a very [deeply] religious and conservative family, she has never had any issue with my son – at least nothing she has ever expressed to me. My son has been dating his boyfriend since he was 18 and I’ve gotten to know him really well. However my fiancé told me recently that she does not want my son’s boyfriend to come to the wedding nor does she want her parents to even get the inclination that my son is gay. That if they found out, they would have a complete fit. This really bothered me because I refuse to ask my son to go back in the closet.”
He asked the community what possible repressions there would be in the future should his son gets married himself.
“What is going to happen in the future? When my son gets married himself? Will they want him and his husband barred from other family events? He’s my son and will be the best man and it would be unfair to deny him a plus one because her family has an issue with gay people. When I told her this, she got very angry with me and told me that I was being selfish and over-dramatic – that it would just be for this one day, that she wants the perfect wedding. I told her that this was unacceptable and that I was not going to ask my son not to bring his boyfriend. It’s my wedding too and I [want] his boyfriend there.”
He then described what happened after he broke the news to his fiancé.
“After that I got the silent treatment for a day and since then it hasn’t been discussed again. However, it has left an extremely bad taste in my mouth and has me contemplating calling the wedding off. I do not want to marry into a family that would potentially discriminate against my son. I love my fiance very much but my son will always come first. I told my brother and he said that I was being the asshole here – that it would just be for one day and that since my son is an adult, it’s unlikely that he would have that much interaction with his “step grandparents” in the future anyway. I still don’t feel comfortable about the entire situation and am really thinking about calling the wedding off. Would I be the asshole if I did this? Am I being unreasonable here?”
And Reddit had some thoughts, with users quickly validating the father. One user said:
“I’ve cut ties with family in the past over their beliefs. Longtime friends who were practically family, too. I’m not going to ‘tolerate’ their bigotry. If they’re going to be bigoted fucks who won’t treat other human beings with love and respect, they don’t deserve me.”
While another had no compassion towards the step-family.
“Boohoo. The son has done nothing to suffer her cowardice and her family’s bigotry. If your family would shame you for who you are, to put up with it is to shame yourself. You cannot cut ties with bigoted loved ones because they cut them first. The bigotry is the problem. Not the son nor the father defending him. Any compromise is far less than the basic respect the son deserves.”
And last but not least, a steaming hot platter of truth served in your face.
“How can you make compromises concerning your child’s sexual orientation? What good reason could there possibly be that you would discriminate against your own child? I’m sorry, but this is black and white. Either he’s [choosing] his in-law’s personal convenience or his son’s freedom. There will be enough people giving this kid shit. His in-laws can chose, his son can’t. Don’t do it, OP. Protect your child.”
***snaps all around***
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